Between glamour and discussions: My first assignment as a doorbitch
I'd wanted to do it for a long time—outfits are just my thing. When a very dear person—who also happens to be a club owner—made me the offer, it was clear: I'm going to be a doorbitch!
Preparation: Dress code is mandatory at every kinky party
The excitement was high. I read the dress code for the kinky party several times to make sure I didn't miss anything. I went over the basics again with the host, a well-known DJ in the scene: Who can you turn a blind eye to – and who definitely not?
Even though I'm stylish, I spent a long time thinking about what I would wear. A kinky outfit that would stand out but not look over the top—after all, I didn't want to get lost in the party crowd. So I put a lot of effort into it.
My first assignment as a doorbitch
Then the moment had come: my first evening at the door.
And it was – fantastic! My party definitely started at the entrance.
Turning people away isn't easy—disappointing for the guests, challenging for me. But that's precisely why the dress code exists. It's clearly communicated beforehand, and it's binding. After all, a kinky party isn't a club night in streetwear or jeans. Nevertheless, it does happen that guests try to argue or negotiate.
Why the dress code is more than just clothing
Ultimately, the host makes the decision—and that's a good thing. A kinky party isn't a disco, a bar, and certainly not a swingers club. The dress code ensures a special atmosphere. Most guests understand this. Discussions remain friendly, and often even develop into interesting conversations.
I was particularly impressed by the fact that some guests actually went back to the hotel or home to change into their own clothes. This shows genuine motivation and respect for the event.
The dress code isn't meant to be annoying, but rather to show appreciation: toward all guests, the organizer, and the shared idea of creating a space where everyone can develop freely—among like-minded people.
Outfit tips for kinky parties
- Always read the dress code – sounds banal, but is often overlooked.
- Send photos in advance – many organizers give honest feedback.
- Show courage – it’s better to stand out than to get lost in the “streetwear look”.
- Show respect – a good outfit shows appreciation for everyone.
My conclusion
At the end of the evening, I received an incredible amount of positive feedback. I'm certain: This won't be my last time as a doorbitch.
My tip to all guests
If you're unsure whether your outfit meets the dress code for a kinky party, send the organizer a message beforehand – and ideally, send a photo. You'll almost always receive valuable tips or clear feedback. This way, you'll be well prepared and can enjoy the evening stress-free.