💫 How to overcome the nervousness before your first event

Taking the first step into the scene is exciting—and sometimes quite nerve-wracking. You may have finally plucked up the courage to attend an event, but your heart is pounding and your head is full of questions: What awaits me there? How do I behave properly? What if I feel out of place?

Don't worry: This nervousness is completely normal – and it can be overcome. With a little preparation, openness, and the right mindset, you can enjoy your first event relaxed and confidently.

Here are our best tips:

1. Connect with the community in advance

Before you even attend an event for the first time, it's worth getting in touch with the scene online. Platforms like Joyclub, FetLife, topic-specific forums, or private social media groups offer you the opportunity to browse around without any obligation.

Share your experiences: Ask questions, read reviews, find like-minded people—maybe even people who want to attend the same event as you. Many are open to helping newcomers along the way.

2. Find a companion

Arriving somewhere new alone can be intimidating. If you have the opportunity to go with someone with experience, you'll often feel more confident. But having a good friend who's curious and accompanies you can also help.

Tip: Some events also offer "newbie guides" or special introductory sessions – check the event description for details or ask the organizers directly.

3. Read the event description carefully

The description of an event often contains many important details: dress code, admission criteria, age restrictions, themed rooms, or even awareness concepts. Read them carefully – not only to prepare, but also to determine whether the event is a good fit for you.

Wearing clothes that meet the dress code doesn't mean you have to dress up—it can actually help you slip into a new role and feel bolder.

4. Learn about awareness and consent

Responsible interaction with yourself and others is paramount in the scene. Learn more about awareness concepts and the topic of consent.

The important thing is: Nothing is mandatory, everything is possible. And you can leave at any time if you feel uncomfortable – without having to explain yourself.

5. Don’t expect too much – stay curious

Approach the event with curiosity rather than expectation. Not every encounter has to be profound, not every experience intense. It's not about "delivering" or conforming to a picture. Immerse yourself in the moment, be open—and allow yourself to simply observe.

It's perfectly fine to just watch, have conversations, or stand at the bar the first time. You set the pace.

6. Be yourself – and allow yourself to grow

Your nervousness shows that your appearance is important to you. That's good—but you don't have to be perfect. Everyone started small somewhere. Don't let it discourage you if you don't know all the terms yet or if some things still seem overwhelming. That's part of the learning process.

The more often you show yourself, try things out, and talk to others, the more your self-confidence grows – without any pressure.

🤝 Conclusion: You are not alone

The scene thrives on respect, openness, and mutual support. You'll be surprised by how friendly and helpful many people are at events—especially towards newcomers. Dare to show yourself—with all your insecurity, curiosity, and courage.

And if at the end of the evening you say proudly and with relief: “I took the plunge” , then it was exactly the right step.

Final tip: Want to know which events are particularly suitable for beginners, or are you looking for someone to accompany you? Then check out our Instagram channel or send us a message – we're happy to help!